Hey. How's it going? Good to hear. How am I? Oh, you know, the usual. School, work, trying to keep myself together, fed, rested, etc. Haven't been too shabby at it lately.
I'm just sitting here in my apartment, at the kitchen table, which is covered in me and Kennerley's homework. Books, laptops, my glass of water, Kenn's beanie (I'm not quite sure why that's out here, she hasn't worn it lately). My list for today has almost been entirely crossed off. Hallie is in the living room, carving a pumpkin. It's a bit cold, maybe I should put on some socks.
Is the kind of night where I just feel...not overwhelmed. There's a lot coming up in school, with homework, tests, papers, projects, and everything else, and part of me feel like I should be stressed out. I'm mulling over the long standing question of work options as well, which usually completely scrambles my brain. I know I need to work on some MuggleNet projects, which I'm going to have to find time for soon.
And yet, here I am, feeling that right now, everything is okay. Sure, I can't wait until I get a bit of a break (only a few more weeks, thank goodness), but I also just want to enjoy today. I just want to hold the moments of laughing with Cass and Kenn, of reading British literature, of cooking something that tastes good. I want to feel every drop of rain that falls from the sky, and kick up crunchy leaves the color of butter. I want to savor the few times Kenn and I stay up later than usual rewatching episodes of Doctor Who and speculating wild theories. I want to read each of the five letters from my missionary friends I got in the last week, and write back to them slowly, describing little things that have reminded me of them in the time that I last wrote.
I want to plan Christmas presents for my family, and start putting them together. I want to buy candy canes to put in hot chocolate, and put up the advent calendar my mum made for me.
I want to enjoy these moments, move through them slowly. As I have been practicing the piece I chose for my flute recital, I have realized just how tense I am lately. Practicing it has helped me to slow down a little, to enjoy each moment as it comes, like I enjoy the notes I am playing.
So I guess you could say I'm just dancing along to the music right now. Yes, I'm worried about what is coming up, and sometimes it feels like I am trying to keep back a flood of panic. But I am just going to try and focus on the little things that make me happy to make it through. It's my favorite time of year, and I'm going to enjoy every moment.
