I made a decision today.
Okay, it's been coming on for a while. But today, I decided just to dive in and take my crayons back, and not care what anyone else thought.
They're not real crayons. They're metaphorical. I'm not turning into some crayon snatching crazy, don't worry.
There's a quote I found on Pinterest that says "Everyone is born creative; everyone is given a box of crayons in kindergarten. Then when you hit puberty, they take away the crayons and replace them with dry, uninspiring books on algebra, history, etc. Being suddenly hit years later with the 'creative bug' is just a wee voice telling you, 'I'd like my crayons back, please." (Hugh MacLeod).
I'm taking my creative crayons back.
I've been thinking a lot about what has changed for me since high school. Back then, I was quieter, I was a little more angry, I was trying too hard to prove myself. I buried the creative part of me, the part that loves to be messy and go back and clean it up later. The part that wrote whatever came to my head, the part that danced when it rained, and then came in for hot chocolate. The part that would love nothing more than to go outside and curl up on the grass with a book.
Today, I decided to change that.
I decided to write, and just write, whatever came to my head. I can go back and revise later. I have three or four writing projects in the works right now. But I'm going to follow some writing advice and "let the first sentence be as stupid as it wants to be".
Today, I decided to have a dance party by myself, in my room, to epic TV and movie themes. I decided to sit and let my mind sift through gorgeous orchestral and choral pieces.
Today, I walked home and put my face towards the sun and let the wind blow my hair into a mess. I smiled at people I passed. I sang to the music on my phone.
Today, I decided to love the things and people I love without abandon, with my whole heart. I decided that I would be as enthusiastic about this as possible, and not care what other people thought of me, because these people who really love me love me for who I am, and I know that for sure. There are people who care about me out there. I forgot that a lot in high school. But there are people out there who love my crazy, nerdy, enthusiastic, introverted, occasionally scatter-brained self. I love them for that.
Today, I decided to fall in love with the UK even more, because it's lovely and I can't wait to go there.
Today, I decided to stop trying to be too grown up, and love my inner, creative child. Balancing it with my responsible self, of course. But to let that creativity shine through again.
Today, I decided to live and learn and love.
I decided to take my crayons back, and use them to color the world.
